Whenever someone asks me a generic, “What’s your favorite?”
question, I experience a temporary shutdown of the brain. This brain lock-down happens
due to the overwhelming expectation of gauging everything I have ever
experienced and consequently, ranking something as my “favorite.” Admittedly, this seemingly easy task reveals
an extreme character flaw within me. Unfortunately for those who inquire about
my most beloved “something,” panic prompts me to recall my answers to such
questions from when I roamed the halls of CFIS. It was in my 12-year-old body
that I first experienced what I would refer to for the next six years as my
favorite movie, The School of Rock. This movie follows a burnout rock
star-turned-substitute teacher, Dewey Finn, on his mission to transform a
middle school class into “Battle of The Bands” material in hopes of beating his
old band and earning enough cash to pay his rent. Black’s character
impersonates his roommate, Ned Schneebly, in order to fill his shoes as a
“temp.” Dewey, or “Mr. Schneebly,” proceeds to throw out the lesson plans and
attempts to educate his students about rock music and “sticking it to the man”.
Some of the students Schneebly faces include: Lawrence, a reserved classical
pianist later referred to as “Mr. Cool,” Billy, the Liza Manelli-loving, self-appointed
fashion designer for the band and Summer, the “teacher’s pet,” always striving
for a gold star. Despite my outdated answer to “my favorite movie,” I still
love the movie for the classic, adolescent humor of Jack Black. This movie showcases
some of the world’s greatest comebacks and disses. The next time someone
offends you, just use an original School of Rock quote like: “You’re tacky
and I hate you,” “You’re a fat loser and you have body odor,” or “Read between the
lines.” (The effect of the latter is maximized when the speaker holds up their
index, middle and ring fingers). Schneebly encounters some humorous, yet
anxiety-inducing obstacles along the way to “creating musical fusion,” with his
makeshift band. First, the principle almost compromises the band’s rehearsal
after hearing music from the room. Mr. Schneebly dodged her assumptions by
improvising an educational song, convincing her of his abstract “teaching
methods.” The lyrics include, “Math is a wonderful thing. Math is a really cool
thing. So get off your ath, let’s do some math. Math, math, math, math, math.”
Not only does Schneebly satisfy the principle’s suspicions, but he also
produces an extremely catchy song with ease. Secondly, the class attempts to
audition for the Battle of The Bands but arrives late, denying their chances of
even competing. Schneebly acts on his toes again, though, and persuades the
judges to listen to their audition after revealing the students’ fictional
disease, “Stick-it-to-da-man-nosis.” The façade helped the band score a spot in
the final competition. The most significant obstacle, however, surfaced in the
form of parent-teacher conferences. Dewey’s lie became exposed, which led to
his firing, ultimately preventing from the band to continue. So, naturally, the
kids escape school on the day of the concert and locate Dewey for their
performance… so punk rock. In addition to the one-liners and high quality plot,
this movie contains exceedingly entertaining characters and some really catchy
music. All of these factors reinforce my sixth grade opinion of the movie. I hope my 12th grade opinion encourages those who have not yet seen School of Rock, to do so. Finally, in the words of Dewy Finn, "Let's rock, let's rock today."
