One can interpret success in AP English in many ways
including: earning above a seven on the AP rubric scale, scoring bonus points
for your master data sheet contribution, obtaining the prestige of “Student of
the Month,” or starring on the blog show. For me, success is achieved simply by
surviving the class without breaking into a cold sweat. So, without further a
do, let me share some “dos and do nots” to help you endure the daunting class
of AP English.
DO NOT even think
about raising your hand to pose the classic get-out-of-class, “May I use the bathroom?”
question. Seriously, not only is this question a waste of your breath, but
also, you can kiss those participation points goodbye if you plan on using your
precious segway into the discussion to ask such a juvenile question.
DO set eight
alarms reminding you to turn in your paper to turnitin.com. You don’t want to
be that guilty member of the group submitting your project into the extremely judgmental
“late” folder. Ouch.
DO NOT underestimate
Ms. Serensky’s “Five more minutes,” reminder during an in-class essay. Wrap
your mind around the fact that five more minutes translates to a mere 300
seconds. Wikipedia says the average human being writes 31 words per minute, but
I seriously doubt that this particular unknown contributor has ever written an
entire five-paragraph essay in 35 minutes. I estimate that after the five
minute warning, you will have roughly eight sentences left in your system.
Choose them wisely. (*Cough* Audience and purpose. *Cough*)
DO be the
first person to say, “Bless you,” when Ms. Serensky sneezes. She appreciates
it… I think?
DO NOT start
your discussion comment by saying “Yeah, I totally agree with her statement,”
then proceed to go off on a completely arbitrary tangent. Yes, you proabably
have a legitimate point to make, but no, do not interrupt the flow of the
discussion to insert your random point.
DO remain
mindful of what you share about your life outside of the AP English tundra. If
you slip, you may just regret it when the quote sheet for the quarter rolls
around.
FOR SURE DO NOT question
Ms. Serensky. Ever. Regardless of your angsty, teenage emotions that might fall
victim to her forthright tendencies, she will help you if you let her. So let
her.
Your reference to Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide brought back a wave of nostalgia as I used to watch the show constantly. I think I started reading your blog in Ned Bigby's about halfway through it. I regret never following your first DO as I have fallen victim to submitting to the folder of shame on turnitin.com.
ReplyDeleteI found this blog very accurately reflected the trials of the AP English student. Ever since I accidentally submitted the wrong, half-way finished copy of a SOAPSTone to turnitin.com, I have become quite paranoid about using the website and remembering to submit it correctly. Furthermore, in terms of the sneezing, I have certainly noticed a difference between in Creative Writing class with Ms. Serensky and in AP English. In English, whenever I hear Ms. Serensky sneeze, a chorus of "bless you"'s chimes throughout the classroom. To have that kind of power... But, in Creative Writing, people simply do not respond or continue their daily and incessant feud about English oppression of the Irish. What a difference the threat of a strict grading rubric makes.
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