I currently remain
futureless, waiting for some kind of epiphany to magically determine my future.
Yes, while my classmates confirm their enrollments to Harvard and Cornell, I
sit idly, just waiting for a sign. The thought of choosing between two colleges
persists as daunting, especially as I picture my life reaching a two-way street
and thinking about how different each street could be. Due to my current
dilemma, I thought this prompt would trouble me. However, I faced a different
kind of epiphany upon brainstorming for this blog: Regardless of where I end
up, I will hold the same values, interests and traits that I’ve always had. So
cliché, I know. I worry every day about leaving behind my friends who accept
and embrace my quirky personality. But further, I worry that fear of judgment
from others will prohibit me from completely letting go. So, my goal, similar
to my fellow sheepish peers, remains to jump, with both feet, into an entirely
new life. I hope that my future peers
will view me as a person with serious ambitions. I hope that my future peers
will welcome my bizarre sense of humor. I hope that my future peers will
tolerate my sometimes-introverted tendencies of laying under the covers
devouring the latest on Netflix. But most importantly, I hope that my future
peers will help me leave behind my hesitant qualities in order to reach my full
potential. College will serve as a fresh start, a place where I will definitely
not shove my clothes into a drawer to give my room a clean façade anymore. A
place where I will absolutely have to learn how to fold my own laundry. And on
a serious note, it will become a place where I have to leave all doubt in
myself behind. To me, college translates to the first step in adulthood. Thus,
I hope to leave all high school notions regarding boundaries with certain
people and the idea of cliques behind. Whichever road I decide to take, I hope
my peers view me with genuine understanding and respect.
I think you discuss apprehensions that all high school seniors have very well. One of my biggest things fears relates to sense of humor, like you mention. I think, like most people, that I have a peculiar way about myself that can either attract people or turn people away from me. I love how you discuss the notion that, although so many things will change in the future, you hope that your ideals and personality will stay constant. Yes, college serves as a time to break out of a solidified persona crafted in high school, but it also serves as a time to find out the things that hold the most importance to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI got one thing to say to help you with your college decision:
O-H....
I agree with you in that college serves as the ultimate fresh start. Without trying to sound too feminine, freshman year of college serves as a time period for an individual to learn about their true character. For this reason, and I do not state that this opinion serves as the best path, I believe that rooming with a high school friend during freshman year proves destructive. Doing so ensures that an individual holds on to his/her past, unable to begin a fresh start and therefore unable to learn about themself.
ReplyDeleteEarlier this week, I watched a video on YouTube about parallel universes which parallels (pun intended!) the uncertainty and anxiety we all feel at this time. The video describes that some scientists theorize that we live in one version of reality, and that every possible outcome exists in its own separate universe. Though an extraordinary thought, this both comforted and alarmed me. Like you, I feel anxiety that I have the opportunity to choose between many different futures, and may choose incorrectly. But, as my parents have reminded me constantly, everything happens for a reason, and any of my options will benefit me. Very cliche, of course, but in times of uncertainty, cliches do provide a certain comfort.
ReplyDeleteKatie, I currently find myself standing in the same shoes as you. As the college destination wall in Commons grows day by day, so does my confusion and frustration. I, too, must make a decision by May 1st, and knowing me, I WILL make that decision on April 30th at 11:59 PM. Why can't April have 31 days? Anyways, I want to reassure you, and encourage you to drop all your fears. You may possess a "quirky" personality and have an obsession with Netflix - but who doesn't? Embrace your idiosyncrasies, because when you find yourself surrounded by thousands of other college newbies, they will work in your favor. And soon enough, your peers will realize just how cool, compassionate, and hysterical of a girl you are - just like I did.
ReplyDeleteand Shannon... I-O!